Your confusion is not pathology, it is path. It has something to reveal to you that clarity and certainty could never, ever show you. The nature of confusion is wisdom, but you must make a home for it within you to receive its mysteries. Your feeling of disconnection is not neurotic, it is intelligent. It has something to reveal to you that oneness could never, ever show you. If you will allow it to unfold, resisting the temptation to send it away, it will expose a secret within you.
Your sadness, your loneliness, your fear, and your anxiety are not mistakes. They are not obstacles on your path. They *are* the path. The freedom you are longing for is not found in the eradication of these, but in the information they carry. You need not transcend anything here, but be willing to become deeply intimate with your lived, embodied experience. Your intimacy is your path home. There are movements of somatic wisdom arising within you that contain very important information for your journey. If you will provide shelter for what is burning within, you will see that these are no ordinary messengers.
They are harbingers of integration, sent from beyond to reveal the wholeness that is the signature of this dimension. Nothing is missing, nothing is out of place, nothing need be sent away. Inside your body, in the center of your emotions, in the core of your somatic experience the sacred world is wild and alive. Let it pierce your very being until it enlivens you to the raw wonder of you.
You have been brought to here and now, for this. All is here and this wild raw life force will continue to send envoys to you, in the form of oneness and separation, broken and whole, confusion and clarity, and sadness and joy. Each of love’s forms has come to unlock a unique place within you, so that a particular form of light can come through into this world.
You will burn until you are translucent, but it is within this burning that your gifts will be revealed.
~A reminder to my self~